you may be wondering why the secrecy…that so i wont be judged. I’m a nobody. I’m that girl you pass everyday in the hallway without a second thought. I’m the girl you only talk to when you need something done. I love writing and quotes. I’m in high school which is turning out to be the worst years of my life..but hey that is okay..ill survive..hopefully. The whole idea of this blog it to show people whats inside my head and poems I’ve written. If you are going to hate don’t read because i don’t need anymore of that in my life.
every day is the same
I wake up into somebodies world
and live their life,
theirs, not mine and
yet nobody knows……
that’s funny how people say live life to the fullest
but what do you do when your life
is empty and has holes in it?
you really wanna know who I am
I’m just a fuck up with a broken heart
and stained cheeks
Im not so sure anymore and its killing me from the inside out. i want to be able to have fun like a normal teenager but i cant.im always second guessing myself and checking over my shoulder. thats okay. ill get over it.
you know how when a new year starts your supposed to have a new years resolution. hears mine:
1.stop thinking about “him”
2.change everything about me
3.forget the people that hurt me
4. try something new
5. and i want to tell LJC about what I’ve done
Also now that a new year is right around the corner i’m ready to let everything go. i’m ready to forget the bad and also the good. I am me. In the past year I’ve lost Adam..the one boy before LJC that i let myself care for..he passed away because of choices i made. i lost Ashley because she literally took a bullet for me. What i don’t get is how all this has happened and i still feel like I deserve a second chance. I’ve lost LJC, i let my guard down and i let myself be vulnerable.And he doesn’t even know.
I miss you. okay I said it. I know you don’t feel the same. but still. I miss how you would wrap your arms around me when I was about to cry. I miss how you would do your puppy-dog face you knew I couldn’t reject. I miss how you would tell me that you love me and didn’t judge me for what I’ve done in my past. I miss how you understood me.I miss how you like my kind of music that other people said was too loud. they didn’t understand that music helps me forget….you did. You were the person I wasn’t afraid to be me with. I didn’t have to hind my scars or my pain because you saw threw it. I still love you even though you broke up with me. I’m sorry I stressed you out too much that you thought you had to leave. I think its weird how ill never be yours again. I think its weird that when i need a shoulder to cry on you wont be there.
I just wish you could read this but i cant show you this.So if Who this is about ever gets to read this one day then heres a message…..I love you.