you may be wondering why the secrecy…that so i wont be judged. I’m a nobody. I’m that girl you pass everyday in the hallway without a second thought. I’m the girl you only talk to when you need something done. I love writing and quotes. I’m in high school which is turning out to be the worst years of my life..but hey that is okay..ill survive..hopefully. The whole idea of this blog it to show people whats inside my head and poems I’ve written. If you are going to hate don’t read because i don’t need anymore of that in my life.
we lay together in a heap of sweat and love, i can smell you even though its over i can still feel your hard throbbing cock in me, teasing me every time you run your hands along my clit, i can feel you through the sheets as you sleep, quiet, beautiful you are still naked arms wrapped around me holding your naked body to mine. we are together as one.
everyday
every day is the same I wake up into somebodies world and live their life, theirs, not mine and yet nobody knows...... that's funny how people say live life to the fullest but what do you do when your life is empty and has holes in it?
really
you really wanna know who I am
I’m just a fuck up with a broken heart
and slit wrist
but you dont care
do you?
no of course not.
-04.02.18_22:43-
-04.02.18_10:56-
same
Fucked up sleep
But somewhat rested
First big hit
And the trippy mind/body floats
Starting a Sunday morning
A few minutes
To be a lazy bum
Before the planned activities
Begun.
And now the moment is passed,
Begin!
so what
Im not so sure anymore and its killing me from the inside out. i want to be able to have fun like a normal teenager but i cant.im always second guessing myself and checking over my shoulder. thats okay. ill get over it.
New year new you
you know how when a new year starts your supposed to have a new years resolution. hears mine:
1.stop thinking about “him”
2.change everything about me
3.forget the people that hurt me
4. try something new
5. and i want to tell LJC about what I’ve done
Also now that a new year is right around the corner i’m ready to let everything go. i’m ready to forget the bad and also the good. I am me. In the past year I’ve lost Adam..the one boy before LJC that i let myself care for..he passed away because of choices i made. i lost Ashley because she literally took a bullet for me. What i don’t get is how all this has happened and i still feel like I deserve a second chance. I’ve lost LJC, i let my guard down and i let myself be vulnerable.And he doesn’t even know.
I miss You
I miss you. okay I said it. I know you don’t feel the same. but still. I miss how you would wrap your arms around me when I was about to cry. I miss how you would do your puppy-dog face you knew I couldn’t reject. I miss how you would tell me that you love me and didn’t judge me for what I’ve done in my past. I miss how you understood me.I miss how you like my kind of music that other people said was too loud. they didn’t understand that music helps me forget….you did. You were the person I wasn’t afraid to be me with. I didn’t have to hind my scars or my pain because you saw threw it. I still love you even though you broke up with me. I’m sorry I stressed you out too much that you thought you had to leave. I think its weird how ill never be yours again. I think its weird that when i need a shoulder to cry on you wont be there.
I just wish you could read this but i cant show you this.So if Who this is about ever gets to read this o
ne day then heres a message…..I love you.
new secrets
I think I love this boy. He says he loves me to but I don’t think so. I think he just says that so I don’t feel bad but hey that’s OK. I’m glad I have him for at least a little bit. I want to hold him and care for him freely but I’m scared. I feel that the first wrong move I make he will leave that’s why I don’t do what I want when I’m with him because of how great the fear is. I don’t want to lose him yet that’s inevitable. I don’t know why i love him i just do. I love everything about him even the bad things. That’s how you know I’m crazy..I love him even though everyone knows he will leave.
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